Woot!

Quite a change from the last post's title, huh? This week has been so eye opening to me! Let me explain why. :)
   So, as most of my friends on Facebook know, I have had a horrible time with an earring hole infection! I was in so much pain there were times I would have to take Tylenol and Ibuprofen just  to get rid of most or all of the pain. If you didn't know, pain is very distracting to study habits and it was especially hard to stay on track with my homework. I went to the doctor and he gave me some ointment and antibiotics. I was really worried Sunday, though, because it didn't seem to be getting tremendously better(the huge white spot of infection had seemed to have deflated). It was really swollen and red and it REALLY hurt.
   So that Sunday night I had called my mom to ask her a question. I got off the phone with her and my ear was numb. So I freaked out and called mom again. My mother, ever the wise woman, gave me oxygen and I got hung up feeling better about it.
   I was still really worried, though. So I was just talking to God while getting ready for bed. I was very honest with Him and asked: "God, I know you can heal me. You healed leprously, an incurable disease. So why aren't healing me the way I want You to? I mean, I don't mean to sound childish, but I do want to know." I texted my mom again to let her know something, and rhetorically asked the same thing of her. She decided to answer my rhetorical question by calling me and letting me know exactly what was up. She reminded me that night time was when Satan really liked to mess with a person. And she reminded me that God wasn't going to let me slide along in college without challenging me. She told me to tell God what I was afraid of and give that up to Him. I saw her point.
   Anyways, I went to bed and talked to God some more. I told Him how afraid I was of with this infection in my ears. And, I'll be honest, I cried. And then, I cried some more when the Holy Spirit impressed a story that I had heard recently. The story of Peter walking on water. Peter was all ready to walk on that water. He told Jesus to just command him and he'd get out of  the boat. Jesus said "Come" and Peter came. But the moment the winds picked up and the seas got a little choppy, Peter panicked and began to sink. He cried out to Jesus for help, and the Messiah helped him into back into the boat. Jesus first question to Peter? " You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
   I felt like Peter. I was all gung-ho to get out of the boat and into the sea of college when Jesus called me to. But when the winds came and the seas got rough, I immediately panicked, which was, in essence, telling God that I didn't trust Him enough to hold me up.
  So as I lay in bed, crying, the words of Jesus came to me. "Why did you doubt?" he asked me. And I wondered, why was I doubting? He had never let me down before. Why would now be any different? I didn't have to constantly be worried about this. I realized this was a test from God. Just like God sent a tester storm when Peter was out on the water, he sent a tester storm to me. He knew how often I had always said to myself that I would trust Him when I got into college. That was going to be a no-brainer. God knew the depth of my faith. He just needed me to realize the depth of my faith.
   Lying there in bed, I realized that I had taken my eyes off of Jesus and onto my worries. I wasn't letting Him be my rock. I wasn't giving my Savior control of the situation.
   Well, I repented right then and there of that! And from then on, God was giving me peace and helping me to know that He had it under control even when things looked chaotic.
    I called the doctor yesterday and it turns out that he won't be back till Wednesday. But with the improvement I had seen I decided to wait and see if it was going to get better.
   Lo and behold, last night the pouch of junk decided to open its flood gates! Sorry, hope this isn't too gruesome. The other infection on the opposite ear decided to follow suite thereafter. And very soon after that the pain had decreased tremendously from where it had been. Now, I haven't taken Ibuprofen in hours and my ears aren't hurting for the most part(as long as I don't mess with them)!
  But that's not even the half of my amazing news!
   Ever since I don't even know when, I have loved traveling! I really liked road trips, but I LOVE flying! I would go to a new place every month! And God has blessed me with opportunities to go on trips with my Aunt and they were great!
   My Sophomore year of highschool, I was complaining to God about how little traveling I got to do. If he had given me this desire to travel, why wasn't I getting more opportunities to go? God showed me through Exodus 15 that He could do anything. I felt Him telling me that I would get more opportunities to travel.
   So last night, I was over at a professor's house having dinner. We were talking about any out of country trips we had taken and all I had to say was that I had been to Canada. So all this talk about going out of the country got me riled up about how much I wanted to travel.
   Fast forward to a few hours later and I am at Dorm Meeting. Gunner gets up there, and what does he announce? A short term missions trip boot camp. Again, I was thinking how much I wanted to go out of the country. And I heard God say, "Well, it would get your mind off your desire to find a husband, force you out of your comfort zone which you have been wanting to do, and you would get to travel. Your young. You don't have to worry about a husband and kids right now. Enjoy this time in your life. You should do it."
   Now, to explain a little, I have never felt called to do a mission's trip. Yes, I have always wanted to travel out of country, but I have never wanted to do a mission's trip for the wrong reasons. To hear God say all this to me was HUGE! My mental jaw kind of dropped. After that moment I was so excited and at times giddy! I couldn't believe it! God had told me that I could go on a mission's trip!
   He had never told me that I couldn't. If I had wanted to do this sooner, I could have. I just was afraid of going for the wrong reasons. Plus, sharing the gospel in a mission's trip setting scares me.  I think I am beginning to realize that I had started to believe a lie of Satan that I couldn't go on a mission's trip. I couldn't get the funds. I was scared to do it. So I just shouldn't go.
   But last night I felt so free! It was like God had taken a load of boxes from my hands that I had been blindly carrying around with me. All of a sudden, it was like, duh! Of course you can go on a mission's trip! You've evangelized before!
   And God made it even more clear to me the reason He had given me a love of travel and adventure. What better way to take action on my passions than doing missions in another country! DUH!
   It all seems so clear to me now, and I wished I had realized this sooner.
   Anyways, I am so super excited! I went to the missions boot camp tonight and it filled with good information! I am between Nepal and Brazil, but I am really wanting to go to Nepal if God gives me the OK.
   I am going to be applying really soon so that I can get a spot on the mission team and start the interview process. It's crazy how clear this seems to me now! I never really dreamed I would be doing this. It's just not me. It's crazy and awesome and wonderful! :D My God is so good to provide me the desires of my heart in HIS time, and HIS way. AND I get to share the love of Christ!
   Prayers would be much appreciated right now as I go through this process. Truth be told, I'm afraid I won't get on a team. But I know that God isn't going to leave me hanging and He has a plan for the whole journey, even if that includes not getting onto a mission team right away.
   Phew, sorry if my writing's bad. I am really tired. I stayed up till almost three doing homework that it turns out I didn't have to do as extensively as I did. :/
   School is going pretty well, I have got some catch up to do tomorrow. Please be praying that I will improve my time management. I am struggling with that.
   Well dear family, this is my news. :) God's love and peace be with you as it has been with me. I pray that all of you will recognize the love He is showing you even now. Just look around. You'll see it. :) I LOVE YOU ALL!