Leaving home

   I remember this hotel. We stayed in it the last time. I remember the campus. I even remember where some places are . I also remember that was a little stressed out when I was here last time. I didn't want to face the fact that I was going to be graduating the next summer and moving on. I just wanted to go to my safe home, to my nice bed. I also remember knowing that I would only be there visiting the campus for two days.
   It's so different now. I'm not just staying for two days. It's like, a little less than four months.
   As we were on the road today I truly felt like another chapter in my life had begun. I kept looking back over the past, wanting to go back. But that's impossible and God never wanted us to continually go back to our past. How would we ever move on, then?
   Today, as I have been saying goodbye to family, after every goodbye I felt God taking my hand and leading me forward, telling me it was time to go. He gave has given me the strength to walk away. Because there have been times today when I just wanted to stay home. I wanted to stay in my comfortable bed, in my familiar room. I wanted to talk to my Aunt for a while like I always do. But that's not where God was leading me.
   When I was relaying my thoughts to my mom, she asked if I was still sure that God was calling me the same direction. I told her I was, and I am. But just because I'm sure, doesn't mean that I want to leave any more and she knows that too.
   When we were getting ready to leave from a restaurant, mom and I mad our way to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the full length mirror. In that moment I the words confident and beautiful came to my mind. And I realized God was trying to tell me something. You are a confident, beautiful young woman. You are fully capable of accomplishing this task. You can handle it.
   Knowing that God believes in me, gives me even more confidence. Because I wasn't doing what He wanted me to do, I would fall flat on my face.
   I've also SO appreciated having the knowledge that all my friends and family believe in me as well. I have continually felt their support and their prayers mean so much. :)
   And last, but not least, God has not only been providing for me strength wise. It seems that in the past couple of days, if I have thought of things that I would even just like to have, not necessarily need, with me at college, someone showed up with a care package containing the items I had thought of and more. How cool is God!
   It just amazed me to see how God has been providing things and continually showing me that this is indeed where I need to be. He is providing everything for me. I just love seeing Him work!
   Anyways, I really need to go to bed, but I wanted to post before things get crazy tomorrow with the first day of orientation.
   My biggest prayer request would be for my room mate and I. Please pray that we grow close and have a good relationship.
  Sorry for the somewhat disconnected thoughts. I'm really tired. Friends and family :) My love to everyone reading this.